Essay to take up space...

As I have nothing exciting to report in my present life, I will keep this blog active by writing about something that happened 5 years ago. When Liv was home over Christmas break, we looked through some old trip photo albums. I was proud of myself for 1) keeping trip journals, and 2) taping envelopes with the journal pages to the back of every photo album. How many mothers do so much? But no, my kids had to make fun of me for meticulously detailing every meal we ate. Even I was shocked by some of the things I left undocumented. So, in the spirit of full disclosure, here are the strange/funny things that happened when Liv accompanied me on my WHO-related trip to Geneva in June 2003.

1) I attempted to check in with the wrong airline (Northwest) out of force of habit.

2) I thought the young man checking our tickets in the security line said, "Tubular!" but he really said, "To Newark."

3) Once in Geneva, we were in a bus accident right next to a U.N. sculpture display about land mines. Our driver hit a car, resulting in an old man being thrown to the floor of the bus and going instantly deaf (actually his hearing aides had fallen out with the impact and been thrown away by the driver who was more intent on picking up her bus and yelling at people than checking on the casualties).

4) We also were almost killed visiting the Jet d'Eau, supposedly a safe tourist attraction. We ended up clinging to a chainlink fence out by the jet as waves of water crashed around us and one of our flip-flops floated away.

5) I had checked out the phone in our hotel room when I first arrived to make sure I could ask for a wake-up call before my meeting later in the week. Imagine my surprise when I went to make that call and found they had replaced the phone with a non-functioning phone! Very strange... (I ended up getting a wake-up knock.)

6) My meeting was held in a secret location--an old garage out in the country, with no amenities and chickenwire over the windows. After crossing an ocean and then the city in a bus, I arrived right on time, only to be told that they were still in the 'members only' part of the meeting and I'd have to wait. An aide brought me out a glass goblet and bottle of water to sip as I sat in the dust on the curb in my dress and heels.

7) Needing change to take the bus back to town after my presentation, I gave a 5 Euro bill to a cashier in a nearby restaurant and asked for change. He threw the bill in the till, slammed it shut, and laughed at me. (Eventually he gave me change. And then the money-dealie on the bus was broken so I didn't need it.)

8) Liv and I went to a little cafe for lunch and were directed to their outside tables. Although we were starving, we allowed the server to take our drink orders first. When she returned with our waters, she plunked down the check for about $8.00 and left, never to return. Oh, for my high school French skills!

9) Later, when Liv and I were sightseeing, a cab pulled over and the driver yelled, "Parlez-vous anglais?" I was so thrilled that my English skills would be needed that I shouted "Oui!" He then opened the back door of the cab to reveal an Indian woman in a sari who said (in perfect American English), "Oh, thank heavens! Would you please tell him in French that I want to take photos of the U.N. building and then be driven to Old Town?"

And yes, we did eat a number of meals but I will not say one word about them.