A time where speaking up didn't work...

MANY years ago when I graduated from dental school, I did the expected thing and joined the local chapter of the American Dental Association. I soon found that as a public health dentist I had little in common with most of the other members. This was before managed care became common, and most dentists not only practiced individually or in small private groups, they considered anyone who worked for a salary as highly suspect. But I hung in there for a few years until I got a mailing that 'reassured' me that although yearly dues may seem high, my money was being well used to protect the "men in private practice."

Of course, I immediately fired off a letter sarcastically asking if they wanted to return my $300 as I was neither a man nor in private practice. A while later I received a call from the treasurer of the local chapter. He said he'd been designated to talk to me about my concerns and invited me out to dinner at the Lexington. I agreed to meet, and spent the next few days marshalling my arguments and making notes on index cards.

Because I bussed to work, I walked to his PRIVATE PRACTICE in downtown Saint Paul and he drove from there. He was a chatty, older man who didn't seem in any hurry to discuss ADA policies. As I ate with my note cards in my lap, he nattered on about such things as his wife's potato cakes. After dinner, he walked me (quite puzzled) to the parking lot where Joel was picking me up. As I got into the car, he said, "Take care of this little lady" to Joel and slipped me an envelope. In it was my $300.

But do I ever learn?

I am known for being willing to express my opinions, especially with those I shouldn’t (bosses, choir and band directors, religious leaders, etc.). A couple years ago, Joel and I played with a small ad-hoc orchestra that accompanied a large volunteer choir that performed to make money for food shelves. This seemed a noble goal, but the downside was 3-hour practices every Saturday morning with about half the time taken up with the choir director’s bloviating.

We were preparing a spring concert around the theme of “peace.” One selection featured a member reading various quotations about war and peace over quiet background music. The first time we tried this piece, a quote from John Lennon (“Give peace a chance”) came right before the dramatic conclusion of Jesus Christ saying, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” Several people understandably laughed out loud at this juxtaposition. I decided that if the director didn’t change the order of the quotes himself, I would helpfully suggest that he do this so as not to ruin the solemnity of the occasion.

At our next rehearsal, I hesitantly broached the subject with Mr. L. To my surprise, he had no qualms about equating John Lennon and Jesus, and even said that he thought the ordering of the quotations had been divinely inspired! I could see that he and I were not kindred spirits, so I merely mumbled, “You’re the director” and quietly took my place (really!).

Imagine my surprise when after 15 minutes of rehearsal, Mr. L. suddenly put down his baton and with a sigh started pontificating about “a member of this group” who “doesn’t realize that we live in a multicultural society where people don’t all share the same religious views.” As he went on and on about this poor misguided, intolerant bigot who wanted to ban John Lennon from the program I could feel my face getting redder and redder. I turned around to mutely appeal for help from my beloved husband, only to find him oblivious--deep in his science fiction paperback which he had surreptitiously started reading at the first sign of bloviation.

As Mr L. expanded on his theme of love, peace, and understanding, the choir members started to chime in. To fully understand the humor here, you have to realize that all the choir members would have no problem getting their senior discount at Denny’s. Yet, they all felt obliged to stick up for John Lennon against the slurs of the anonymous small-minded Member of the Group. One woman said, “I think John Lennon and Jesus are together in heaven right now,” and another said, “Isn’t John Lennon a child of God too?”

I finally bolted to my feet, steam pouring out my ears, and surprised everyone by shouting, “I am the member of the group who brought this up! All I said was that we shouldn’t place those particular quotations next to each other! And I am not a right-wing nut and don't appreciate being misrepresented!"

Mr. L. never apologized. The quote only got repositioned because the reader took it upon himself to make the change. Joel and I finished out the spring concert season and then quit. And I have no hard feelings!!!! I hardly remember the incident!!!

Or as the sainted John Lennon would say, “If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace.”